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Kris



Joined: 16 Sep 2002
Posts: 2550
Location: Sheffield

PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:42    Post subject: chav-tastic Reply with quote

Number 13 is special....

1. What do you call a chav in a vault?
Safe

2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted

3. What do you call a chav in a box?
Innit

4. What do you call a chav in a white tracksuit?
All White

5. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.

6. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.

7. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

8. If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.

9. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

10. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"

11. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it..

12. 2 Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.

13. A chav walks into the local job centre, marches straight up to the
counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".

The man behind the counter replies "Your timing is amazing. We've just got
one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his
nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black<
BR>Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the
meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their
overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year".

The chav says "You're having me on!"

The man behind the counter says "Well you started it!"


14. A housing officer is helping a chavette fill in a form and asks for the
name of her children. "Hmmmm Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne".

The housing officer questions the practicalities of calling all your
children by the same name.

The chavette replies "It's great. If I want them to come in I just have to
shout Wayne, your tea's ready and they all come together".

The housing officer says "yes, I see, but what if you only wanted to speak
to one of them?", "Easy, I call him by his surname."
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Melz



Joined: 20 Aug 2002
Posts: 680
Location: Doncaster

PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 22:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's funny 'cos it's true! Laughing
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Bev



Joined: 25 Aug 2002
Posts: 843
Location: Nottingham

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 17:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins?

Society.
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can't remember me login
Guest





PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 14:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dunno maybe I'm gonna get thrashed for being too serious but I find all this "chav" identifying & bashing kinda small minded. Can't we all be happy friendly like KENFROMRHYLL?
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sparky
Site Admin


Joined: 01 Aug 2002
Posts: 576

PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 15:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

for what it's worth i'm with can't remember me login on the chav thing.
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 20:32    Post subject: Who am I again? Reply with quote

sparky wrote:
for what it's worth i'm with can't remember me login on the chav thing.


You me an and KEN
Lets party!
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Hew



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 529
Location: Chicago

PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 05:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

yes indeed. chavs are funny
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Setareh Juventina



Joined: 01 Dec 2002
Posts: 1415
Location: Norrköping, Sweden

PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 16:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

From what I gather, a chav is basically what Americans call 'white trash', which is a bit offensive considering it's about people of lower classes.

But a brit told me that it's not about the working class at all and that if I lived in the UK I would understand what it's all about.

Love & Peace
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discoRdance



Joined: 20 May 2003
Posts: 1183
Location: Ireland

PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 18:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

it's the same old jokes with the word "chav" substitued in Rolling Eyes

and why, coz someone came up with a whole new word for the supposed phenomenon (which isn't based on anything particularly recent)?
Neutral
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mixedcasesspaces



Joined: 04 Aug 2004
Posts: 574
Location: In the bin, wriggling around with the apple cores

PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 13:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

Setareh Juventina wrote:
From what I gather, a chav is basically what Americans call 'white trash', which is a bit offensive considering it's about people of lower classes.

But a brit told me that it's not about the working class at all and that if I lived in the UK I would understand what it's all about.

Love & Peace


Yeah, it's not 'white trash' really, and not particularly to do with class... it's more to do with sticking a spoiler and blacked-out windows on a white Golf I think.
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Tommy Tynans Lovechild



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 854
Location: People's Republic Of BS4 (Though always PL2 4Ever)

PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 01:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

the chav thing pisses me off a little now - the only burbs i know of now r skint types who can only afford fake burb stuff...... i think its very much a middle class dig at working class/"lower" class people tbh. Very easy to mock "chavs" when you can afford the house yer always wanted, the car you dream of, holidays in the sun....... not saying thats what everyone who makes digs at them are like but i'm certain thats what the people who started it off r like, the feckin' slone rangers!!!!
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Kris



Joined: 16 Sep 2002
Posts: 2550
Location: Sheffield

PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 08:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just for the record.

I'm working class and always will be. I come from a mining background. My family and I have never been able to afford jack shit. I detest class wars and my idea of the chav, which was never serious - had nothing to do with class or looking down at people, because all the above list are fucking "JOKES".

I think this entire thread has been blown out of all proportion.


and yeah it aint never been no poor person that could afford souped up VW Golfs with exhausts bigger than my chimney.
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feeling so removed, drifting thru stealing air then...
pause and think about it, try to move and shift the pain, but it's there you feel it kicking and you scream and feel alive."
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Tommy BOO



Joined: 21 Aug 2002
Posts: 3066
Location: here, there, and everywhere

PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 15:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kinkster wrote:
and yeah it aint never been no poor person that could afford souped up VW Golfs with exhausts bigger than my chimney.

...and tons of gold jewelry and chains and Von Dutch clothes.

I agree, being a chav has nothing to do with different classes, it's a lifestyle.
Whether that's insulting or not, that's a completely different thing.
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forgotten
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 16:41    Post subject: Told off for talking Reply with quote

Kinkster wrote:
Just for the record.

I'm working class and always will be. I come from a mining background. My family and I have never been able to afford jack shit. I detest class wars and my idea of the chav, which was never serious - had nothing to do with class or looking down at people, because all the above list are fucking "JOKES".

I think this entire thread has been blown out of all proportion.


and yeah it aint never been no poor person that could afford souped up VW Golfs with exhausts bigger than my chimney.


Hey kinkster maybe it was me who first blew air into this I was thinking how daft it is to label a group of people and assume a whole load of characteristics on them. The term chav has been around for decades its just suddenly become a popular and lazy shortcut and yeah I recognise your list of jokes lots of them used to have the word mexican, paki, yid, scally whatever in them instead of chav and yeah some of them have been updated but discussing them aint blowing things out of proportion is it?

Number 13 is... really old
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Kris



Joined: 16 Sep 2002
Posts: 2550
Location: Sheffield

PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 17:21    Post subject: Re: Told off for talking Reply with quote

forgotten wrote:
.....discussing them aint blowing things out of proportion is it?


Absolutely true. I do apologise.

xxx
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"fashioned by the blade of a world that doesn't care,
feeling so removed, drifting thru stealing air then...
pause and think about it, try to move and shift the pain, but it's there you feel it kicking and you scream and feel alive."
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