the phoney chart show!

[gillworm]

on Tuesday I went to a recording of the Album Chart Show for Channel 4 (broadcast 12.30pm this saturday and sunday) at Koko in Camden.

talk about phoney! first we had to practice our applause: 'I want massive swelling applause for 20 seconds on my count of 3: 3 2 1....' there's an MC giving us directions all the way through, including 'ok we're doing that again cos you weren't loud enough'. after the second practice we were filmed moshing to music for 4 minutes, to be cut later in with footage of live bands to show we were enjoying ourselves after 3 minutes I was nearly on my knees. we also jigged a bit to Sean Paul for footage to be cut into the first live set, Lily Allen, in case we weren't lively enough when she was onstage. which was quite likely as she doesn't have much stage presence and didn't excite many of us. apart from Che, who loves her and will be glued to the tv this weekend...

then we had a band with a singer called Paulo Nutrini (I think), plainly hoping to be the next James Blunt with tasty Scottish accent and soppy lyrics.

then loads of links with massive swelling applause...though my mates did a hands-in-pockets protest at the applause for the Kooks...thank goodness we didn't have to listen to them, since they weren't actually there!

then an eccentric band called Guillimots, who had the stage covered in rose petals.

and a short interview up in one of the boxes with James Bradfield, who called audience hecklers 'guttersnipes' because they laughed at the presenter when he fluffed his lines. and then ta-ra, what I was there for, a live set by James Bradfield, 3 magnificent songs from his solo album, no need to fake the dancing and cheering there. he was on top form, joking with lads in the audience about the football results as they unflurled their England flag and serenaded him with a few lines from 'football is coming home'. I'm not kidding, if only they broadcast stuff like that in the finished programme! he laughed and responded with 'yeah but you're f*cking rugby isn't coming home!'.


so 3 hours of tripe and ham acting finished with 15 minutes of bliss, really they ought to give us a free drink too!
_________________
(and gillworm! she's so funny!)

[discoRdance]